Hell's Temperatures

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hells all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days. After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says, "I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this." So Satan tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks. So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says "I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dry spells that were hotter and longer than this." Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months. After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking, "What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"

Rams and Patriots Fans

POST GAME DISCUSSION
Two Rams fans were standing at a bar. The one fan said to the other, "You know, the Patriots might have won the Super Bowl, but their fans are such a**holes!" A man walked up to them and with a mad look on his face said, "I find that statement offensive!" One of the Rams fans replied, "Oh, you must be a Patriots fan." "No," the man said, "I'm an a**hole!"

X Marks the Spot

Two dumb fishermen decided to rent a boat on a lake. After fishing for hours at various spots and catching nothing, they decided to try one more time before calling it quits. Suddenly, fish started biting and they caught their limit inside of 20 minutes. "Hey, we should mark this spot so next time we'll know where to fish," the first man told his buddy. "Good idea," the second man replied, taking out a can of spray paint and making a large X on the floor of the boat. "Why'd you do that?" his friend asked. "Now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish."