Nearest Hotel Stop

A giant storm forces a man to pull over at the nearest hotel. The keeper says, "Alright, but there are 18 pigs in the room." The man says, "OK, I'll take it." The storm persists and another man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright, but there are 18 cows in the room." The man says, "OK, I'll take it." Finally, a third man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright, I have one room left, and it's filled with my 18 beautiful daughters." The man says, "OK, I'll take it." The next morning the three men talk in the lobby. The first man says that he feels like a pig. The second man says that he feels like a cow. The third man says, "Wow, I feel like a golfer!"

Confucius on Baseball

Confucius say: ''Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk."

Hell's Temperatures

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hells all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days. After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says, "I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this." So Satan tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks. So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says "I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dry spells that were hotter and longer than this." Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months. After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking, "What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"