Sports Jokes

Pathetic Lawsuit

In 1989, a Union Bridge, Md., high school permitted a female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its football team under the pressure of a federal statute that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender. On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was tackled and suffered massive internal injuries. In October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the county board of education for its alleged failure to tell her how dangerous football is.

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Anonymous

MLB Member Quotes

  • "It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband." - Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981
  • "It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and all of a sudden, you're surrounded by reporters and TV men with cameras asking you about Vietnam and race relations." - Vida Blue, 1971
  • "I watch a lot of baseball on the radio." - Gerald Ford, 1978
  • "It's a beautiful day for a night game." - Announcer Frankie Frisch
  • "The most important things in life are good friends and a strong bull pen." - Pitcher Bob Lemon, 1981
  • "Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win." - Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978.
  • "They brought me up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at time was in Brooklyn." - Casey Stengel, 1962
  • "I won't play for a penny less than $1500." - Honus Wagner, turning down an offer of $2000.

Anonymous

Digger Phelps' Quotes

Digger Phelps' Words of Wisdom From the NCAA Tournament:

  • "Basketball is a game of two halves."
  • "We have to remember that whoever scores the most points by the end wins."
  • "You're either a good team or a bad team, and they played somewhere in the middle."
  • "He's like all great players -- not great yet."
  • "You don't score 86 points without being able to shoot." 

Anonymous
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