Great Reasons To Be A Guy

• Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
• Your orgasms are real. Always.
• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be president.
• You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
• Foreplay is optional.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
• The world is your urinal.
• Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
• Same work.. more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
• Wedding Dress $2000 Tux rental $100. 'Nuff said..
• If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
• People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
• Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or irreparably mangle your feet.
• Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
• Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

Father's Day Gift

Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.

Men and Mad Cow Disease

Q: Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease?
A: Because they are all PIGS!