Women Speak, Men Speak

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

A Happy Man

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares!!!!

Ten Reasons Adam Was the Luckiest Man

1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.
2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
7. He never had to shovel snow!
8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn't normal.
9. There was no "standard weight and height" tables - and the word FAT meant good.
10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied, "The woman you gave me was reading the map."