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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bubba and Junior

Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank."

"But we's privates," protests Junior.

"NO, we's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside. "Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank."

"But, we's privates," says Junior.

"You blind, boy!" says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now!" So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good -- but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."

Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign." Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign.

Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay for?!"

"Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates." Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!

Blowing Chunks

Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: "Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks."  2nd guy: "Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and given a DUI!" 3rd guy: "That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed!" 1st guy: "No, no.. you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog."

Japanese Prostitute

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town. Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever. Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients. As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!" All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?"

Both Golf

"Honey, I have a confession to make,"  a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season." "Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a hooker." "No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight!"

Expensive Date

I went out with my girlfriend and asked her, "Why is it every time I go out with you, I end up spending hundreds of dollars?" She answered, "Because I'm a prostitute."