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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
Early retirement
The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between two points he chose. The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000. The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his out-stretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000. Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third. When he was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "from the tip of my penis to the tip of my testicles." The pension man said that would be fine but he'd better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring. The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em... he did... The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!", he said, "where are your testicles?" The general replied, "back in Vietnam!"
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Pillsbury Dough Boy
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts
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A Hygiene Problem
A woman visits her physician. She enters the doctors' office and sits down. The doctor asks her, "Well, what can I do for you madam?" The patient blushes and the doctor sees that she is embarrassed so he says, "You can discuss any matter with me, everything is strictly confidential." So the patient says, "My husband complains that my pussy smells bad, is there a cure for this?" "Sure", the doctor says, "It can be a fungus, or a little infection, nothing unusual, please undress and lay down, so I can examine you and prescribe a treatment." The woman undresses, gets up the bed and with her legs spread waits until the doctor attends her. He comes in, walks towards here, starts gasping for air, covers his mouth and nose with a hand and runs out of the office. After a minute or so, he enters again, covering his mouth and nose with one hand an a 7 feet wooden stick with an iron hook on it in the other hand. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, what are you going to do to me?" shouts the patient. "Nothing", says the doctor, "I'm just going to open the roof window and get some fresh air in here."
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