Duck to a Pharmacy

A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist asks, "Would you like me to put that on your bill?" The duck says, "What kind of duck do you think I am?"

West Virginia

A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?"
The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".
He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"
The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."

Why Studying Is Better Than Sex

1. You can usually find someone to do it with.
2. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
3. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
4. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
5. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
6. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
7. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
8. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
9. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
10. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.