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Swindler to Heaven
The biggest swindler in the world dies and finds himself before the gates of Heaven and St. Peter, who says, "Come on in man!" Confused, the swindler questions, "But I thought I would be going to Hell for all of the bad things I did." St. Peter replies, "Oh, we don't keep records here, it's too much work!" The swindler goes in, and is once again surprised to see tons of beautiful girls whipping themselves. He asks St. Peter, "Why are they doing that?" St. Peter answers, "Ah, those are all of our virgins. They just found out we don't keep records, too!"
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The Best Time?
Q: When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
A: When a rotteweiler is f**king your leg.
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Onion Rings
Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what you're doing with them.
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