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Sex Jokes
Elderly Couple
An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, "I should tell you I have acute angina."
The old man says, "I hope so, you sure don't have cute tits."
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Have You Ever Seen a Ghost?
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?". About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?". About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The redneck student (remember, this is Alabama) replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a Ghost." The student replies, "Ghost?!? I thought you said 'goats!'"
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Making a Sandwich
One day Little Johnny asks his Mum, "How come when I come in to your room you and you're on top of Daddy, you say you're making a sandwich, but after a while I come in again, you're eating a sausage?!"
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