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The best jokes and joke writers!

Man Torture

Q: What's the best way to torture a man?

A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

Happy Sperm

Q: Two sperm are walking down the street. How do you know which one is happy?

A: It's the one with egg on its face!

Potential and Realistic

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

Back for Sex

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”

Black People and Sperm

Q: What do black people and sperm have in common?

A: Only one in a million work.