Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes

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8 Day Blow Job

Q: What do you call a blow job that lasts for 8 days?
A: Hanukkah Lewinsky.

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous

Blowjob Punishment

A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Pedophile Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Anonymous

Three Wishes

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream.
So I picked up the frog and it said, 'Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes.' So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, 'You now have 3 wishes.' I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! There I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We then made love for hours!
Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"
I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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