Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, "We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday."
Jon says, "Why not Thursday?"
The boss says, "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel."
Little Red's Granny
Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandma's house and found her laying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, "Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied ''the better to see you with, my dear.'' Little Red Riding Hood told her "Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma replied "the better to hear you with, my dear.'' Little Red Riding Hood told her "Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma replied ''of course I do, have you seen Grandpa's dick?!"
A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering amd swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is.
"Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and put a gun to my head."
"Jesus Christ! What happened?"
"He told me to give him a blow job or he'd blow my brains out!"
"Yeah, then what?"
"Well you didn't hear a gun shot, did you?"
Bill Clinton vs JFK
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton & J.F.K?
A: One got his head blown off in the back of a limousine & the other got assasinated.
A guy tells his wife that she has three choices. She can either go hunting with him, give him a blowjob, or he can butt fuck her. The wife says, "I don't want to go hunting because its cold out, and I've never been butt fucked before, so I think I'll go with the blowjob. "So she's down there doing her thing and suddenly she says, "your dick tastes like shit! "The guy says, "yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting either."