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Happy Birthday
Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?"
His lover lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."
Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out."
So his lover lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch.
He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass."
Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."
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Lesbian Vampire
Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner?
A: See you next month.
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Jail Cell Role Play
A young man gets sent to jail, and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk. "Let's play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy."
"Then come up here and suck Mommy's dick."
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