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Sex Jokes - Denied Sex Jokes
Off to Vegas
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. "Just where the heck do you think you're going!", said the man. "I'm going to Las Vegas", said the wife, "I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free! The man said, "Wait a minute!", and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. "Where the heck are you going?", said the wife. The man said, "I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!"
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Making Love in the Dark
Alice was becoming frustrated by her husband's insistence that they make love in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, she flipped on her reading lamp one passionate night -- only to find a cucumber in his hand. "Is THIS", she asked, pointing to the vegetable, "what you've been using on me for the last 5 years?" "Honey, let me explain..." "Why, you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a -" "Speaking of sneaky," her husband coolly interjected, "maybe you'd like to explain our three kids."
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Air and Sex
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
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