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Sex Jokes - Denied Sex Jokes
How About...
An old man and his wife sit in bed watching TV. Suddenly, the old woman turns off the TV, faces her husband and slyly opens her bathrobe. "How about some super pussy?" The old man calmly says, "I'll take the soup."
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Her Body is a Temple
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today!
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The Secret to Stopping the Cats
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.
"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"
"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied
"Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone"
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"
"Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"
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