Sex Jokes - Denied Sex Jokes

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The Secret to Stopping the Cats

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.
"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"
"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied
"Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone"
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"
"Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"

Categories: Profession Jokes (Veterinarian Jokes ) , Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Small Penis

This couple has been dating for about four months, but the guy had been afraid of making any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

No More Tricks

A newlywed bride and groom had been busy at "it" for three days straight. The groom arose early and was reading the paper, thinking it was time to do something else. When his bride woke up, he said, "Honey would you like to see Oliver Twist?" His bride replied, "You show me one more trick with that thing and I'm going home to mother!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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