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Little Johnny's Alphabet
Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They get to "W", and the teacher figures Little Johnny can't think up anything dirty with a "W" so she calls on him. "Womb!", Little Johnny says. "That's a good word, Johnny", teacher says. "Is that as in, where babies come from?" she asks. "No," says Johnny, "that's the sound elephants make when they're screwing, you know, 'Womb! Womb! Womb!"
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Low Sex Drive
An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him, "I need my sex drive lowered." The doctor, incredulous, says, "What?? You want your sex drive lowered?" To which the old man replies, "It's all in my head; I need it LOWERED!"
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Curious Priest
After several years of serving the church in a far away land, a priest is requested to report to his new assignment at a church in the South Bronx, New York. He set out immediately to learn the new culture by taking a walk down the street in plain clothes. On his way, a loose looking woman approaches him and in a lowered voice says, "Hey Buddy... blow job 25 bucks." The priest glares at her confused and says, "What's a blow job?" The woman is just as confused and says, "What are you a comedian?" and walks off. The priest, undaunted, walks on to the next block and again another seedy looking woman confronts him and again repeats, "Hey mister, blow job 25 bucks." The priest quickly replies, "What is this blow job!?" The woman looks at him surprised and thinking something's wrong hurries off. The priest, now very curious, returns to the church to ask anyone he can find what exactly a "blow job" is. The priest sees the mother superior and says, "I have a question -- What's a blow job?" Mother superior quickly goes to shut the door and upon returning to her seat she replies in a whisper. "Same as on the outside... 25 Bucks."
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