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Sex Jokes
Man's Best Friend
Q: What is a man's best friend?
A: His dick because it always sitcks up for him.
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Mouse Rapist
One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife, but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.
"Don't be afraid, darling," said the man. "Wait until I tell you about this."
"Get out of here!" cried his wife. "And take that sex maniac with you!"
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Chinese Anniversary
Went to a Chinese restaurant today with my new girlfriend to celebrate our two month anniversary. The philosophical message in my fortune cookie read, "Every exit is an entrance."
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
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