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Sex Jokes
Ultimate Rejection!
Q: What is the ultimate rejection?
A: When you are masturbating and your hand falls asleep!
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Three Brothers
There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The eldest brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor, and the youngest got the bottom floor.
A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh. The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the noise they'd heard last night was. He replied, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his girlfriend the next night. During that night, the two other brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh. The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last night was. He replied, "Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
Now, the youngest brother was really excited. So he brought over his girlfriend, and that night, the older brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! In the morning, the older brothers asked him what the noise in his room was. So, he said, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-landed on the bedpost."
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Little Bad Riding Hood
Red Riding Hood was a bad bitch. She looked so fucking good, damn! When she got to grandmas, the wolf jumped out and said, "Damn bitch, Imma fuck the shit outta you." Red pulled a glock out her basket and said, "Nah motherfucker, you're gonna eat me like the story said."
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