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No More Tricks
A newlywed bride and groom had been busy at "it" for three days straight. The groom arose early and was reading the paper, thinking it was time to do something else. When his bride woke up, he said, "Honey would you like to see Oliver Twist?" His bride replied, "You show me one more trick with that thing and I'm going home to mother!"
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Room Rates
Bridegroom: How much for the room?
Hotel Clerk: Twenty dollars a piece.
Bridegroom: Okay. Here's $140.
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A Mule, A Rabbit And A Rooster
A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning. The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks." "Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm." "We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk." "Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home." "We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear." So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops. The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"
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