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Sex Jokes
Olympic Swimmer
A female Olympic swimmer was talking with one of her teammates about using steroids. She claimed that she was going to quit taking them because she was growing hair in scary places.
When her friend asked her where the hair was growing, she replied, "On my nuts."
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Strict School
It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kids this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer". So she said "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!". The kid said "No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!" Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door. The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class "Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?" "Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a cookie break!"
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Dictaphone
A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks, "May I use your dictaphone?" He replies, "No. Use your finger like everyone else."
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