Chinese Proverbs

• Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who run behind car get exhausted.
• Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
• Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
• Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
• Man with one chopstick go hungry.
• Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
• Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
• Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
• Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
• War not determine who right, war determine who left.
• Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
• Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
• Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
• Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
• Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
• Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
• Man who lay woman on ground get piece on earth.

Nothing Changed

On the eve of the couple's tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. "You know honey," she said, "I can still get into the skirts I had before we were married." "Yeah?" the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the ball game on TV. "I wish to hell I could."

Jail Cell Role Play

A young man gets sent to jail, and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk. "Let's play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy."
"Then come up here and suck Mommy's dick."