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The Lone Ranger and Tonto
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, "Ear stuck to ground..."
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Mother's Nightmare
Three women are discussing their teenage daughters. The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!" "It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!" "Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter's room last week and you'll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!"
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You Might Be A Redneck If - Lard
You might be a redneck if you've ever used lard in bed.
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