School Jokes

Abbey Lane

A boy came into class late one day and his teacher asked him why he was late. The boy replied "Sorry sir, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane." The teacher excused him and he sat down.
Five minutes later, another boy came in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He replied, "Sorry I'm late, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane."
Another five minutes later, a girl walks into class, late. The teacher says "I suppose you were doing push-ups on Abbey Lane too." The girl replied, "No sir, I am Abbey Lane."

Anonymous

Preschool Lesson

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to identify the animal. Little Sherry took a bite of the meat labeled beef and correctly said that it came from a cow. Tommy took a bite of pork and also correctly identified the meat as coming from a pig. The last meat was labeled venison. The children chewed and chewed and after numerous incorrect guesses the teacher attempted to give them a hint "what does your mommy call your daddy when he comes home from work at night" she asked? All of a sudden little Joey jumped up from the back of the classroom and yelled "Jesus Christ! Spit it out, it's Asshole"!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Harvard University Visit

A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hoped to attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked, "Sir, can you please tell me where your library is at?"
The man looked down his nose and replied, "Son, I'm head of the English department, and I can assure you we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply."
"Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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