Farts With Lumps

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants".

Fruity Class

Q: What is the fruitiest lesson?
A: History, because it's full of dates!

Virginia Girl

A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said "No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ." Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said, "I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond. You're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy." So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad said, "Where is your sister?" They replied "We were almost there Daddy, and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read - "Clarence 13'6" - so we turned around and got the hell out of there!"