Parole Hearing

Officer: Why should you be released early?
Man: I’m ..
Officer: Go on.
Man: I think...
Officer: Yes?
Man: Can I please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

Busted

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.

Tell What Happened

The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer. "Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"