Mothers

Q: What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
A: An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."

Luke at Breakfast

Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."

Redneck Mole Removed

Q: Did you hear about the redneck who went to the hospital to have a mole removed from his d*ck?
A: He swore off sex with them creatures forever.