The Sermon

A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex. When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off!"

Jehovah's Witness & Unitarian

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Unitarian?
A: Someone who goes knocking on doors for no apparent reason.

The Chinese Pay Off Their Debts

Jones: "The Chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on New Year's Day."
Smith: "So I understand, but, then again, the Chinese don't have a Christmas the week before!"