Deferring Mormons in College

A college student was approached by two guys in white shirts and nice ties riding bicycles. Immediately the college dude knew where this was going and he was already running late to class. So, he asked the two guys if they wanted a sip of his coffee. They replied, "No, we Mormons don't believe in drinking coffee." The college dude quickly argues, "A cup of coffee this early in the morning has incredible benefits." "Like what?" replied the Mormons. "Well, It keeps you from being Mormon." "Have a nice day sir," and they left.

Book Club

Q: What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for years?
A: Church

Baptizing The Drunk

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher, I sure am." The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. "Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk. The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" "Noooo, I have not, Reverend." The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?" The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher... "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"