Deferring Mormons in College

A college student was approached by two guys in white shirts and nice ties riding bicycles. Immediately the college dude knew where this was going and he was already running late to class. So, he asked the two guys if they wanted a sip of his coffee. They replied, "No, we Mormons don't believe in drinking coffee." The college dude quickly argues, "A cup of coffee this early in the morning has incredible benefits." "Like what?" replied the Mormons. "Well, It keeps you from being Mormon." "Have a nice day sir," and they left.

Book Club

Q: What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for years?
A: Church

A Pastor Hunting

A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. The pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and sending his rifle flying through the air, just out of his reach. As the bear closed in, the pastor cried out "Lord, I'm sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me and save me! - Lord please make this bear a Christian". Suddenly the bear skipped to a halt at the pastor's feet, fell to it's knees, clasped it's paws together, began to weep and said "God bless this food which I am about to receive!"