Vampire's One More Chance

There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries. God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!" The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good."
God agreed. Then the vampire said, ''I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud.'' ''That seems easy enough,'' replied God. ''I would also like to have wings like an angel.'' ''OK,'' replied God. Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request. ''God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?'' ''Sure,'' replied God, ''but only once a month.'' And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.

Is There A God

Q: Is there a God?
A: A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

Why God Doesn't Have a PhD

Why God Doesn't Have a PhD:
1. He has only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been very limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his test.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
17. He's been known to associate with prostitutes.