Guy Has 3 Questions in Heaven

This fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions. Guy: "Why are girls so pretty?" God: "So you'll like them." Guy: "Why are girls soft?" God: "So you'll like them." Guy: "Why are girls so dumb?" God: "So they'll like you."

Collection

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. Whatever landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what God wants, God takes."

He Left A Little Space

When God made man, he made him out of string. He had a little left, so he left a little thing. When God made woman, he made her out of lace. He didn't have enough, so he left a little space.