Why Man, Then Woman

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

Open Casket

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say: LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

Easter Question

One Easter morning, the preacher gathered the children of the church in the front of the sanctuary for the weekly children's sermon. He began with a thematically appropriate question. "Children, today is Easter Sunday. What do we celebrate on Easter?" One girl spoke up quickly: "We remember our mothers and how much we love them." "No, that's not quite right," the pastor replied. "You're thinking of Mother's Day." Then, an eager boy took a shot: "Easter is a time when we say 'thank you' to God for all the good things in our lives." "We can always say 'thank you' to God," the pastor said, beginning to worry about the dullness of the children in his church. "But, you're thinking of Thanksgiving, not Easter. Children, what is the meaning of Easter?"
After a few seconds of awkward silence, another girl in a fancy Easter dress gave it a try. "Easter," she said tentatively, "is the day when we remember that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Then he was buried in the tomb. On Easter morning, God rolled the stone away and Jesus came out of the tomb." "Excellent," cried the relieved pastor.
"And then," the girl continued, "Jesus looked and saw his shadow, so he went back into the tomb and there were six more weeks of winter!"