Basket Baby

Q: Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?
A: Because he was in de-nile.

Sunday School Christmas Lesson

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents. As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"

Committing Adultery

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery. "Oh, no," said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. "Was it with Marie Brown?" "I'd rather not say who it was." "Was it with Betty Smith?" "I'd rather not say," says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While leaving the church, Joe's friend asks if he received absolution. "Yes, and two very good leads!"