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Religion Jokes
Lord, Forgive Me
A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"
Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said, "No, officer; I was not gambling."
The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?"
Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No, officer; I was not gambling."
Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?" Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"
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Two Jews
Two Jews walked into a bar. It was busy. So they bought it.
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Chance to be Healed
A deaf man, a blind man and a disabled man heard a rumor that God came down to a mountaintop to solve people's problems. They all went to find out if it was true. God asked the deaf man, "Can I help you, son?" The man signed that he would be so happy if he could get his hearing back. God touched the man and suddenly he could hear. God then touched the blind man and he was able to see. The third man was sitting in his wheelchair with his mouth wide open in amazement. God looked at the man and asked him what he wanted. The man drew back and yelled, "Don't lay one finger on me. I'm on disability!"
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