Young Wife

Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

Young Wife

A 70 year old rich guy goes to the bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife! The bartender asked him, "Why did she marry you?" The old rich guy replied, "I lied about my age!"
Bartender: " You said 45?"
Old rich guy: "No! I said 90!"

The Efficiency Experiment

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution."You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home."  "Why?", asked somebody from the audience."I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.  One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"  "Did it save time?", the guy in the audience asked.  "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner.  Now I do it in ten."