The Ideal Date

IDEAL DATE:

• At 17 - Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
• At 25 -  "Split the check before we go back to my place"
• At 35 - "Just come over."
• At 48 - "Just come over and cook."
• At 66 - Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.

Good Morning

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep"

Decisions to Marry

A man had to choose one of his three girlfriends to marry. He decided to give each one $5,000 and see how they spent it. The first one got a makeover with the money. She told the man, "I spent the money to look prettier for you because I love you so much." The second one bought new golf clubs and a television. She said, "I bought these gifts for you because I love you so much." The third one invested the money in the stock market, doubled her investment, returned the $5000 to the man and reinvested the rest. She said, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.