Solo Quest

Q: Why was Han Solo suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
A: It was Luke warm.

Shower Talk

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me." Then the husband pats her butt and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without panties for me." The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little bigger, I wouldn't need your brother."
 

Home Early

Just arrived home early from work and saw some thieving bastard that had been trying to break into my house
....he managed to escape by hopping over the neighbor's gardens...
I'm proud of my wife though, she must have put up some fight because she's half-naked, covered in sweat and can hardly walk.