Dear Abby: Lying Cheat

Dear Abby: My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don't know what to do.
Signed - Frustrated
 
Dear Frustrated: You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you don't need him anymore.

Tell Me A Lie

A father is having dinner with his son and says, "Son tell me a lie," and the son says, "Dad."

Two Guys At The Bar

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible!" The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God!" "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy... every night she places a burnt offering before me!"