Redneck Taxidermist

You might be a redneck if... You owe a taxidermist more than your annual income.

You Might Be A Redneck 37

You might be a redneck if...

• The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
• You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.
• You've ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.
• Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
• Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.
• Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker.
• After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".
• You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
• You pick up your girlfriend on a bike for the prom.
• The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.

You Might Be a Redneck If... VI

You might be a redneck if...

• Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
• Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
• Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
• Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
• Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
• Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
• Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
• The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass. Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.