You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 39

You might be a redneck if...

• You can chew your own toenails.
• You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.
• You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
• Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
• You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
• You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait... and didn't spit it out.
• Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.
• You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
• Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.
• Your mama has more tattoos than you do. 

Redneck Fire

Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been colored in yet.

Redneck Computer

• The keyboard is camouflaged.
• The password is "bubba."
• The screen has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
• The monitor is up on blocks.