You Might Be a Redneck If... VI

You might be a redneck if...

• Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
• Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
• Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
• Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
• Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
• Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
• Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
• The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass. Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw. 

You Might Be a Redneck If, Your High School...

Your high school annual yearbook is now a mug shot book for the police department.

Redneck Trucker Team

Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes. The personnel manager next interview them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do? About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up. "I know, I know, I know the first thing I'd do." The personnel manager says "yes Luke, what is the first thing you'd do?" Luke says, "I'd wake Zek up." The personnel manager replies, "WHAT! "Why would wake Zek up?" Coos, says Luke, "He ain't never seen no big accident before!"