Redneck Christmas Shopping

You know you're a redneck when...
you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

Redneck One - Liners Extended

You might be a Redneck if...

• You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
• You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
• You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
• The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
• You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
• You think the stock market has a fence around it.
• Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
• Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
• Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
• You burn your yard rather than mow it.
• You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
• Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
• You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial. 

Second Chance

Q: What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A: Reintardnation