88 Rednecks

Q: What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?
A: A family reunion.

Bubba and Junior

Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank."
"But we's privates," protests Junior.
"NO, we's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside. "Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank."
"But, we's privates," says Junior.
"You blind, boy!" says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now!" So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good -- but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign." Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay for?!"
"Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates." Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!

Welcome Neighbor

A city guy buys a ranch. He sits on the porch of his new house taking in the fresh country air when a dusty truck pulls up. "Howdy, neighbor!" calls the man in the truck. " I came to invite you to a little Welcome to the Neighborhood party at my place tonight. " "Well, that's mighty fine of you," the city guy replies. "It's going to be great," the neighbor adds. "There's gonna be eatin', drinkin', fightin', and f**kin'!" "Sounds great," the city guy replies. "What should I wear?" "Aww, it don't matter," the neighbor says. "It's just gonna be you and me!"