True Rednecks on Halloween?

Q:  What do true rednecks do on Halloween?
A:  Pump kin.

Matador Special

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador." As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants, he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer. The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires.
"That," replies the waiter, "is Spaghetti and Bull Testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!"
"That's what I'll have!" says the businessman.
"I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day." Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day. So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the dish to another customer who was there before him.
"Damn!" he says to himself. "And tomorrow's my last day here."
So the next day, he skips the bull fight, and stands in line at the cafe. He is the first one seated, and proudly proclaims, "I'll have the Spaghetti and Bull Testicles!"
"Very well, senor!" responds the waiter. Soon afterwards, the waiter brings out his dish, but the meat balls are disappointingly small. Very small, as a matter of fact.
"What's with this!" the now angry man shouts.
"I'm very sorry, senor" said the waiter, "but the bull does not always lose!"

English vs Ebonics

English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are cruising at flight level three five zero.   Feel free to move about the cabin.  Also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily, so just sit back and enjoy the rest of the flight.  We'll be arriving at our destination in 20 minutes and I expect no delays. Enjoy the rest of your flight.
Ebonics: Ebonia Airlines Dis be yo' main man, we be chillin at tray-five -o, if you be flexin, get up off yo ass and shake that thang, my homey be killin' the man's opression.  If you wanna smoke chronic, just hang loose blood, them bitches be cruizin' on up with some forty-ounce 8-ball, so stop trippin' and sit your ass back down.  We be in the hood in no time afterall, I be bumpin switches all da' way. Peace out!