Clinton Gets Pissed

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was ''The president must go.'' Bill Clinton storms into his office and demanded to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two guards come back in, they told Bill, ''We have some bad news, and we have worse news.'' ''What is the bad news?'' asked Bill.
''Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"

Ponderings Collection 14

• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
• I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver's side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.
• After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?
• This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulance or a firetruck.
• I went out today and bought everything I've been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.
• The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
• I really feel sorry for Madonna's baby, having to grow without a last name.
• Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
• The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

Hooker's Two Cents

One day Bill Clinton decides to go on a jog. While jogging he sees a hooker on the street corner and she says "Five bucks for a blowjob." Bill says, "I'll give you two dollars." The hooker says no and Bill shrugs and continues jogging. The next day he goes for another jog and sees the same hooker. Again she says "Five bucks for a blowjob," but Bill says "no, $2." She says no and Bill laughs and keeps jogging. The next day, Hillary goes with Bill on his jog and he passes hooker once again. The hooker looks over at Hillary and says, "You see what you get for two bucks?"