Three Democrats

Three Democrats walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Democrats here. "The Democrats say, "That's okay...we don't serve you either."

Liberals Like Seagulls

Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap, and they are protected by the government.

New Born Puppies

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. President Obama was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service agents. Obama asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box. The little boy said, "Democrats." The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!" A few weeks later Obama was jogging again, this time with Biden in tow. Obama stopped at the boy's house, winked at Joe and said, "Hey kid, what kind of puppies are in the box?" The boy said, "Republicans" Obama looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Democrats!" The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."