Rigged Election

My conservative grandmother used to be a big Trump supporter, but this year her mail-in ballot was cast for Joe Biden.
No way would she have done that if she were still alive.

Best and Brightest

One day Obama was visiting the queen of England. He asked her how she ran such an efficient government. She said, "I only surround myself with intelligent people, watch this" and she called in England's prime minister, David Cameron. She asked him, "If your parents had a child that is not your brother or sister, then who is it?" David replied, "Well, it would have to be me." The queen was very pleased and Obama was very impressed. Out of curiosity when he returned home, he asked Joe Biden the same question, "If your parents have a child that isn't your brother or sister, then who is it?" Biden thought long and hard. "Let me get back to you on that Mr.President." So Biden spends the entire day thinking and researching the question. He runs into former president George Bush and asked him the same question. "George, if your parents had a child that wasn't your brother or sister, then who would it be?" George Bush replied, "Well, it would be me". So Biden runs back to the white house to tell Obama. He said, "I figured it out, it would be George Bush!" Obama replied, "No you dumbfuck, it would be David Cameron"

Bernie's Team

Q: What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?
A: Mom & Dad