Political Jokes - About Democrats

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department. 

After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted.

We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:

six illegal aliens,

six lawyers,

six meth dealers,

six Muslim extremists,

six Democrats,

and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.

"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"

Q: Why doesn't Obama like watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve?

A: It pretty-much sums up his accomplishments for the year.

Michelle Obama dies and goes to heaven, and she's in the waiting room to see Jesus.

There are clocks everywhere, not a single square inch of wall or ceiling doesn't have a timepiece. Some of them don't seem to be moving. St. Peter comes out and calls her name.

"I'm here" she says. "What's with all the clocks?".

St. Peter says "Everyone who has ever lived has a clock here. Every time they tell a lie, their clock moves forward by one minute. This is George Washington's clock. As you can see, it's one past midnight, so he only told one lie."

"Oh" Michelle said. "Where's my husband's clock?"

"That's in Jesus' office" St. Peter replies. "He uses that as a fan".

Hillary phoned Trump's office shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to President Trump, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed Hillary. After some cajoling, the president's assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning,”  grumbled Trump.“ A Supreme Court Judge just died, and I want to take his place,” begged Hillary. “Well, it’s Okay with me if it’s Okay with the mortuary,” replied President Trump.

AOC gets on an airplane and sits down in the first-class section. The flight attendant tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first-class ticket. AOC replied that she was a congresswoman and she was staying in first class until we reach Miami. The flight attendant gets the head flight attendant who asks AOC to leave and she says no, I'm a congresswoman and I'm staying in first class until we reach Miami." The flight attendant doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to AOC and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head flight attendant asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Miami."