Ponderings Collection 14

• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
• I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver's side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.
• After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?
• This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulance or a firetruck.
• I went out today and bought everything I've been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.
• The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
• I really feel sorry for Madonna's baby, having to grow without a last name.
• Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
• The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

Bernie's Team

Q: What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?
A: Mom & Dad

Libertarians vs. Anarchists

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians?

• Libertarians are anarchists with money.  
• Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.  
• Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.
• Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
• Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
• Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
• Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
• A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
• Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
• Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
• Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in anything.
• Anarchists ignore elections; Libertarians run for office, vote and lose.
• Libertarians think anarchists are naive and unrealistic; anarchists don't care what libertarians think.