AOC back to School

Embarrassed NY voters demanded that Ocasio-Cortez go back to school to fix her misguided statements about causality.  For example, getting rid of all matches will not improve long term climate issues. She was tasked by professors to study how frogs respond to commands. She tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. She writes in her log book, frog jumps 30 feet. Then she cuts off one leg. She gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet. She cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. She records it in log book. Then she cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. She writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet. Finally, she cuts off the last leg and commands the frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the AOC writes in her book, "Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!" And she's still our congress woman. Lord help us.

Middle East Policy

Q: Why was former President Clinton so interested in the events in the Middle East?
A: Because he thought the Gaza Strip is a topless bar!

State Dinner Gone Wrong

Some time ago, President Clinton was hosting a state dinner. At the last minute, his regular cook took ill and they had to quickly find a replacement. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it. He complained to the chief of staff about the cook again, but  was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse till finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened. Frantically undoing his trousers as he ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook." The rest, as they say, is history.