Best and Brightest

One day Obama was visiting the queen of England. He asked her how she ran such an efficient government. She said, "I only surround myself with intelligent people, watch this" and she called in England's prime minister, David Cameron. She asked him, "If your parents had a child that is not your brother or sister, then who is it?" David replied, "Well, it would have to be me." The queen was very pleased and Obama was very impressed. Out of curiosity when he returned home, he asked Joe Biden the same question, "If your parents have a child that isn't your brother or sister, then who is it?" Biden thought long and hard. "Let me get back to you on that Mr.President." So Biden spends the entire day thinking and researching the question. He runs into former president George Bush and asked him the same question. "George, if your parents had a child that wasn't your brother or sister, then who would it be?" George Bush replied, "Well, it would be me". So Biden runs back to the white house to tell Obama. He said, "I figured it out, it would be George Bush!" Obama replied, "No you dumbfuck, it would be David Cameron"

Bernie's Team

Q: What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?
A: Mom & Dad

Libertarians vs. Anarchists

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians?

• Libertarians are anarchists with money.  
• Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.  
• Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.
• Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
• Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
• Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
• Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
• A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
• Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
• Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
• Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in anything.
• Anarchists ignore elections; Libertarians run for office, vote and lose.
• Libertarians think anarchists are naive and unrealistic; anarchists don't care what libertarians think.