Clinton Intern Guidance

Q:  What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: "Don't hit your head on the desk."

AOC in Hell

After ruining NY by driving away 25,000 great paying jobs, AOC was booted out of Congress. Depressed and suicidal, she jumps off a bridge, dies and went to hell. When she got there, she saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, but there was no one in front of the Capitalist Hell.  So the AOC asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"  "They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.  "And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"  "The same exact thing," the guard answered. "Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"  "Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!"

Looking for Work

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work". 
The German doctor says: "that's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work". 
The Russian doctor says: "gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work". 
The United States doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Five years ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, half the country is looking for work!"