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Pickup Lines - Guy to Girl
Uber Pickup
Try telling this joke the next time you're trying to pick up a girl.
Three flies are stuck in a jar. Two female flies and one male fly. For some reason the female flies have it in their heads that the male knows how to get out. The first female fly buzzes over the the male and asks him how to get out of the jar.
"Make love to me and I'll tell you."
She's desperate to get out, so she agrees.
"What you need to do is, start flying around the top to get some speed, dive toward the bottom and pull up to the top at the last second and you'll [snap your fingers ] pop right out."
So she does exactly as he says. Right as she pulls up toward the top [smack your hand] SPLAT! She hits the lid and falls down dead.
So the second female fly, because flies are dumb, goes over the the male fly and asks him the same thing, how to get out of the jar.
"Make love to me and I'll tell you."
She too is desperate to get out, so she agrees.
"What you need to do is, start flying around the top to get some speed, dive toward the bottom and pull up to the top at the last second and you'll [*snap] pop right out."
So she also does exactly as he says. Right as she pulls up toward the top [*smack your hand] SPLAT! She hits the lid and falls down dead.
So now this male fly is in a jar with two dead female flies, and he wants out. So he flies around the top to get some speed, dives toward the bottom, pulls up at the last second, and [*snap] pops right out.
You know she's going to ask you how he got out, and you say.......
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Nightclub Pickup
This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, "You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?" The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?" "Well, I've got a hardon, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.
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Let's Do It
Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
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